Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Feeling good

Tuesday of a Week #2 is a good thing. I feel regular today. A slight tang in my mouth, a tiny bit of finger tingling, but good energy, good spirit, good feelings. I am happy to have the remainder of this week to feel good and I am hoping that the treatments continue with no noticeable decline in my health.

I have one more session and then go to Chapel Hill for another evaluation. I found out today that Dr. Goldberg is moving to Ohio but he has agreed to continue to consult with me. I'll confirm this when I see him in August.

Right now I am wondering if there is a possibility that I will not have to have surgery. I really don't want to have such a large incision - completely across my belly. But, on the other hand, if that is what it takes to be confident that no rogue cells exist, I guess the surgery is the best option. Just feeling kind of grumpy about it.

And I'm also thinking about work. I have really not been present at work in a serious way since starting treatment, or even before - since the surgery. I had never spent so much time at home, so much time doing not very much. But I am slowing down and am not necessarily hyped about jumping back into the fray. The gang is doing a fine job of managing and even the smallest things are not interesting to me right now. Actually, they kind of turn my stomach, even the smallest things - like trying to help solve the problem of where to fry chicken for 600 people in September. Funny, the distance is making me really think about what I want to do and how I want my life to be. I'm not convinced that I want it to be the way it has been. This is a major wake up call and I am trying to listen to the messages I'm getting.

I started working on my book today - mostly just organizing things and getting ready more than I was.

Also today a big hatch happened in Hive # 1. I have not gone in to look for the Queen, but for the first time I saw a LOT of new bees climbing out of the hive entrance. Perhaps they were the babies that hatched from the brood I put in in June. Probably. It was fun to see that much activity. I glanced into the other hives and did not find full honey supers, though there are lots of bees in all hives. Still need to do a major exploration - a State of the Union, but not quite yet.

For now, good night.

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